The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You have well said, ‘I have no husband,’ for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly.” John 4:17-18
Jesus answered and said to her, “Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.” John 4:13-14
The woman at the well in John 4 is representative of our culture today - lonely, heartbroken, unfulfilled, soul thirsty, religious, given up on marriage and God's best. Jesus chose the backdrop of a well to reveal the root of why she (and our culture today) fails relationally. The woman at the well teaches us the secret of successful relationships. The Secret - Our most important relational needs can only be met by the Lord. The Samaritan woman was trying to get a person (6 Guys) to be God for her.
The four deepest needs of every person that only the Lord can meet are; Acceptance - He accepts you for who you truly are. Identity - Only He can tell you who you really are. Security - Only He can make you truly secure. Purpose - Only God can give you real purpose now and eternally.
Without God, your relationships are set up for failure from the beginning. If you don't trust Jesus to meet your needs, you automatically transfer the expectation of those needs onto the people closest to you - spouse, family, friends, etc., thus setting the relationship(s) up for failure. This is called the Law of Transference. The woman a the well had gone through five marriages, and she was currently living with a guy! But her problem wasn't the six guys! Her problem was rooted in the fact that she was putting expectations and demands on them that only God could meet!
Jesus told her that if she would change “wells” she would never thirst again! What happens when we drink from Jesus' well? Our deepest needs are met. We are empowered to love people. Our hurts are healed. God leads us and gives us wisdom. We are able to give to others even when they aren’t giving to us. We need people in a healthy way and develop healthy relationships. Most important of all, we have a real, living relationship with Jesus that fills us and fuels our happiness and success without fail! A personal, daily relationship with Jesus is the secret of successful relationships. Only He can meet our deepest needs faithfully and empower us to love others properly.